A Memory and Some Quotes.

So...yeah. I was moving from Muskoka Woods to Cirlce Square Ranch and while i was doing this I came across a letter i wrote to myself about a kid last summer.

"I worked at this camp as a canoe instructor. All summer kids took my class just so they could do nothing. I felt that if they didnt want to canoe I wasnt going to force them. Well, I started feeling that way in the middle of the summer and my feelings changed to, why even bother mentioning canoeing. It wasnt that i didnt like canoeing or teaching it. What got me feeling this way was the constant put downs towards canoeing. Just pushing kids to get their life jackets on would alone exhaust me for the day. But the very last week of camp, 5th period. Only one student...Michael. i've never seen anyone so excited about canoeing. never ever ever. Everyday he was early and no word of a lie, the first words out of his mouth, "can we go canoeing?" "Hi Michael, how was your morning?" Ignoring my question, "can we go canoeing?" "Well, this is canoeing class, it would only make sense if we did." "Ok, i'll go get my life jacket." For the rest of the week i found out i couldnt ask him anything until we were in the canoe going around, doing what he loved. it wasnt about tipping or splashing other kids, like everyone else. He didnt want to get wet. He just simply loved canoeing. i didnt believe him. i asked him questions everday to find out what his hidden motive was...he just shrugged his shoulders, "it's fun." i didnt believe him, i couldnt. what made him so different from all the other billion kids who hated canoeing? A feeling came up from the depths of me. A feeling i set aside not to bother with. Just as i didnt believe Michael, I dont believe people when they like me. When they truly enjoy spending time with me."

After finding this, I realized a year later most of the time i feel the same. I havent really grown from that experince. However, there are times when i am completely conceited and think why shouldnt people like me. a balance of humility needs to be in me. i want my heart to not care. and not a hurt pride attitude, " i dont even care." but where it doesnt even occur to me. and so much of that has to do with finding confidence in God and being humbled by his greatness.

"I believe in God as I believe in the Sun has risen,
not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else."
C.S. Lewis

"Do not waste time bothering whether you "love" you neighbor; act as if you did.
As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if
you loved someone you will presently come to love him."
C.S. Lewis

I can't wait to see you guys some day. Some day soon.