December 3, 2005

The Journal of Frank Laubach

"Can we have that contact with God all the time? All the time awake, fall asleep in His arms, and awaken in His presence? Can we attain that? Can we do His will all the time? Can we think His thoughts all the time?...Can I bring the Lord back to my mind-flow every few seconds so that God shall always be in my mind? I choose to make the rest of my life an experiment in answering the question. "

His experiment started January 1930.

Janruary 26, 1930
"I am feeling God in each movement, by an act of will- willing that He shall direct these finger that now strike this typewriter- willing that He shall pour through my steps as I walk."

March 1, 1930
"This sense of being led by unseen hand which takes mine while another hand reaches ahead and prepares the way, grows upon me daily...sometimes it requires a long time early in the morning. I determine not to get out of bed until that mind set upon the Lord is settled."

April 18, 1930
"I have tasted a thrill in fellowship with God which has made anything discordant with God disgusting. This afternoon the possession of God has caught me up with such sheer joy that I thought I never had known anything like it. God was so close and so amazingly lovely that I felt like melting all over with a strange blissful contentment. Having had this experience, which comes to me now several times a week, the thrill of filth repels me, for I know its power to drag me from God. And after an hour of close friendship with God my soul feels clean, as new fallen snow."

May 14, 1930
"Oh, this thing of keeping in constant touch with God, of making Him the object of my thought and the companion of my conversations, is the most amazing thing I ever ran across. It is working. I cannot do it even half of a day- not yet, but I believe I shall be doing it some day for the entire day. It is a matter of acquiring a new habit of thought."

May 24, 1930
"This concentration upon God is strenuous, but everything else has ceased to be so. I think more clearly, I forget less frequently. Things which I did with a strain before, I now do easily and with no effort whatever. I worry about nothing, and lose no sleep. I walk on air a good part of the time. Even the mirror reveals a new light in my eyes and face. I no longer feel in a hurry about anything. Everything goes right. Each minute I meet calmly as though it were not important. Nothing can go wrong excepting one thing. That is that God may slip from my mind."

June 1, 1930
"Ah, God, what a new nearness this brings for Thee and me, to realize that Thou alone canst understand me, for Thou alone knowest all! Thou art no longer a stranger, God! Thou art the only being in the universe who is not partly a stranger! Thou art all the way inside with me- here...I mean to struggle tonight and tomorrow as never before, not once to dismiss thee. For when I lose Thee for an hour I lose. The thing Thou wouldst do can only be done when Thou hast full sway all the time.
Last Monday was the most completely successful day of my life to date, so far as giving my day in complete and continuous surrender to God is concerned...I remember how as I looked at people with a love God gave, they looked back and acted as though they wanted to go with me. I felt then that for a day I saw a little of that marvelous pull that Jesus had as He walked along the road day after day 'God-intoxicated' and radiant with endless communion of His soul with God."

I thought that since God impacted this guys life so much through teaching him how to be in constant communion with Him, I thought I might spread his writings. I have been trying to do this...this constant talking with God...its hard. I have come face with issuse that I dont want deal with that are truly haunting me. I have dealt with many issuse, because I desire to be close with God. However, sadly I find I go days fighting with the issuse of giving up and living a "fake" life. But I am realizing that my life...during those fights, are so difficult and empty. Empty chaos. Please pray that I may surrender myself completely to God so that I may be in complete union with Him. So that people will see no hypocrisy with me. I wish this for you as well.


Blogger Nelly said...

Hi Meli!
I totally agree with you in fighting surrender. I'm a 24 year old young lady who knows that I'm a vessel that God wants to constantly use. He's had me doing things/desiring to do things like staying up all night in fellowship with Him (which I haven't done yet), holding a sign up that says "Jesus Lives", walking up and down the street at 2 am with my sign even though people can't see it, but just to glorify Him. I feel like God's presence is so near, telling me yes, no, go here, do this. I don't even need that much sleep anymore. It is not something I relish because I'm used to my own way, but I know God wants me to learn full obedience. But before all this happened, I used to pray A LOT that I'd learn to constantly stay in God's presence, to love like Him, to fast/pray for people at the drop of a hat, to not have worldly worries, etc. He's doing that but now I'm like "whoaaaa." I didn't realize the cost of what I prayed for. I don't feel the joy like Frank did, only the pain of being disciplined to surrender to Him. I know it won't last forever, though. :)

7:18 PM  

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