What I Got

Hey ya all!
I guess I could give you a quick up date. I believe the last time I made an entry I said I wouldnt write about myself anymore. That was last october and well, I still havent gotten past myself. Hence no entries since. But I thought I should let you guys know where I'm at in life and what's been happening.
I have been working at Starbucks in London. As some of you know, I really really like Starbucks. There are things about the company that I am disappointed about, but for the most part I really respect them. The new president of the company has made alot of good changes. Anyways, I believe there's alot about the company that I dont know. I dont know if my suspicions are from my gut or from my well established lack of trust in the corrupt...corporate world.
I had a decent Christmas, like most people had to work the holi-days. And since there wasnt any snow, it didnt feel a bit like Christmas. It was good to hang out with family, sit down for dinner with awkward tension, now that felt like Christmas.
These past few months have been more depressing than I could explain. With weekly counseling visits being the only thing getting me through. Then with great friends coming to visit to bring compassion and frienship into my time here. I wont go into too much detail about everything. I will say this, I am getting better. Life is getting better. When I sought out to make my life more than about me, i didnt realize the extensive work it would require. Expanding oneself is more painful than is expected. Growing pains, if you can remember, is more of an awkward, achy, uncomfortable, painful feeling. Maturing is no different. The statement still remains that I am sick of talking, seeing and listening about myself. To be free of my excessive need to fill my life with deception and avoidance is what I want. But to see life in its entire truest form is harder than I thought it would be. As you can see I am simply just taken back from the reality of life. Before I continue to fill your life with my excessive need for attention, I want to say this.
Life is getting better.